who am I? ...what makes me who I am? ...can it change? will it? ...am I a good person? ...am I good enough? ...to who's standard? compared to the artsy bubble girl I viewed as a role model when I was nine, I'm not nearly enthusiastic or outgoing enough. compared to the pretty girl I… Continue reading internal identity/ crisis
You are the stars when my sky gets dark, and without you I'd lose the way... I'd stray from the path, stumbling blindly through the darkness, never to be found again. Family. You either love it or hate it, but you still always love your family. This is one of the things that is… Continue reading national siblings day ’18
I almost got into an accident this afternoon. And I feel so guilty, but I used to stop fearing horror movies and disasters because I used to stop fearing death, so this terrible feeling means I’m getting better right? it means I can still feel something again (though I am also numb because of it).… Continue reading trama
What to do if you suspect a friend/ someone likes you. Scenario One: Avoid it (them). It's what I usually resort to in my fight or flight response. This usually continues for the rest of the week while I'm confused and over think my conflictions. This stage of denial can last for as long as… Continue reading do you like me?
I am so grateful for all of the people I've recently acquired in my life. I love meeting new people-- even in all of its nervous energy and adrenaline. I've gotten used to letting go, of having an inconsistent stream of people in and out of my life. I've gotten used to temporary and endings,… Continue reading endless goodbyes
I've never been naive enough to believe that I was in love. Love is such a strong and intense word that I avoid using it at all. I even rarely say the full three words to my parents and siblings-- shortening the phrase to a softer "love you" rather than saying "I". The last time,… Continue reading it’s okay, i still love you.
I remember visiting the city a lot while growing up. I'd always dread the Saturday morning car rides, only to later learn to love them because it meant an hour of listening to music in my own world. Skipping the opportunity to sleep in, we would get all dressed up just to listen to a… Continue reading #liveforthestory
Day Four- I don't ever consciously remember feeling so aware of depression. It's the feeling of waking up amazed that I finally fell asleep, wishing again for the release of dark oblivion. It's going out each day and perfecting my mask of happiness and smiles, to the point where I can almost fool myself now,… Continue reading The Depression Diaries