Blog, emotion, life, the depression diaries, thoughts

internal identity/ crisis

who am I? ...what makes me who I am? ...can it change? will it? ...am I a good person? ...am I good enough? ...to who's standard? compared to the artsy bubble girl I viewed as a role model when I was nine, I'm not nearly enthusiastic or outgoing enough. compared to the pretty girl I… Continue reading internal identity/ crisis

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Blog, life

national siblings day ’18

You are the stars when my sky gets dark, and without you I'd lose the way... I'd stray from the path, stumbling blindly through the darkness, never to be found again.    Family. You either love it or hate it, but you still always love your family. This is one of the things that is… Continue reading national siblings day ’18

Blog, emotion, life, the depression diaries, thoughts

trama

I almost got into an accident this afternoon. And I feel so guilty, but I used to stop fearing horror movies and disasters because I used to stop fearing death, so this terrible feeling means I’m getting better right? it means I can still feel something again (though I am also numb because of it).… Continue reading trama

Blog, emotion, relationships, thoughts

it’s okay, i still love you.

I've never been naive enough to believe that I was in love. Love is such a strong and intense word that I avoid using it at all. I even rarely say the full three words to my parents and siblings-- shortening the phrase to a softer "love you" rather than saying "I". The last time,… Continue reading it’s okay, i still love you.

Blog, emotion, the depression diaries, thoughts

The Depression Diaries

Day Four- I don't ever consciously remember feeling so aware of depression. It's the feeling of waking up amazed that I finally fell asleep, wishing again for the release of dark oblivion. It's going out each day and perfecting my mask of happiness and smiles, to the point where I can almost fool myself now,… Continue reading The Depression Diaries