who am I? ...what makes me who I am? ...can it change? will it? ...am I a good person? ...am I good enough? ...to who's standard? compared to the artsy bubble girl I viewed as a role model when I was nine, I'm not nearly enthusiastic or outgoing enough. compared to the pretty girl I… Continue reading internal identity/ crisis
I almost got into an accident this afternoon. And I feel so guilty, but I used to stop fearing horror movies and disasters because I used to stop fearing death, so this terrible feeling means I’m getting better right? it means I can still feel something again (though I am also numb because of it).… Continue reading trama
What to do if you suspect a friend/ someone likes you. Scenario One: Avoid it (them). It's what I usually resort to in my fight or flight response. This usually continues for the rest of the week while I'm confused and over think my conflictions. This stage of denial can last for as long as… Continue reading do you like me?
I've never been naive enough to believe that I was in love. Love is such a strong and intense word that I avoid using it at all. I even rarely say the full three words to my parents and siblings-- shortening the phrase to a softer "love you" rather than saying "I". The last time,… Continue reading it’s okay, i still love you.
Day Four- I don't ever consciously remember feeling so aware of depression. It's the feeling of waking up amazed that I finally fell asleep, wishing again for the release of dark oblivion. It's going out each day and perfecting my mask of happiness and smiles, to the point where I can almost fool myself now,… Continue reading The Depression Diaries